Dreams

Dreams - - we've all had them.  No, I'm not talking about the kind that happen while we sleep, but the dreams we consciously create, beginning usually, when we were children.  Did you want to be a fireman? An astronaut?  A nurse? 
What did I want to be when I was 5 or 6?  I wanted to be an actress and I wanted to be the Queen of New England!  (A few years later, the reality of geography and history took care of the latter!)
Life happened and I grew up - - thanks to a book I read "Approval Addiction", I now realize how/why I ended up making many of the decisions that I did the first several years of my life - - and many of those decisions eventually took me to a place where I didn't feel like I was able to have the luxury to dream - at least not the kind of dreams people think of when we talk about dreams, like Europe, a masters degree, an 87,000 sq ft house, etc., etc., etc.,  - - my dreams were more about survival. It made me angry to hear people tell me I had to dream big and invest myself in those dreams. How dare they tell me how to think and to insinuate (or that's how I perceived it) that somehow, I was less of a person by not having big dreams.   For a long time, my biggest dream was to make it from one payday to the next and still have groceries on the shelf so the kids could eat and have enough gas in my car to get to work and back! 
Thankfully, those days of feeling so desperate are behind me......however, I was still very defensive about feeling like I had to dream for things that seemed, to me, shallow and worldly.  I had moved past the constant dream of getting from payday to payday, but somehow, a huge house and brand new car just seemed like silly frivolous dreams after freshly coming out of basic survival. My initial reaction was "DO NOT tell me I have to have a big dream. I AM LIVING my dream right now!"
Which led to my next bone of contention which was people thinking that being content (i.e. - not having a 'dream') was the same as being lazy.  It was exhausting getting from where I was to where I am - - I wanted to enjoy my life, not spend my life constantly feeling like I always wanted more and more and more.
So, before I end up sounding like I'm angry and bitter and have an issue with 'the dreamers' of the world, somewhere along the line, I realized I can still dream, but my dreams don't have to be about 'things'.  Except for going to Boston the year I turn 50, I don't think most of them are. 
My friend Audrey showed me a website where I could create a dream board.  I thought, at first, it'd be something fun I could whip out in an hour or so, but it's ended up being about a two, maybe three week process to put together.  It was really very cathartic to be able to actually think about what is important to me - about where I really want to put my energy and in some cases, money.

I can honestly say, that now, I am a dreamer!

http://www.oprah.com/dreamboard/index.html   
In case you want to make your own dream board........

Spring must bring out the "busyness" is us!

Hello, it's been a couple of weeks - I'm not really sure why I haven't taken time to sit down.  Dave and I were talking a couple of days ago about how our life used to be so routine and so uneventful and that lately, even on the days we don't have Dayton, we've constantly got something going on!
Saturday mornings used to be my sacred "HGTV/Foodnetwork" time and I haven't even been home the last three Saturdays to think about it.  Two weeks ago, I went to Marysville to meet my new nephew in my "WA" family.  Little Dodge Robert is SO cute and he's been blessed with a wonderful mommy and daddy!
Last Saturday, I went to LaConner with Dave's sisters & mom and nephew's wife for a girl's day out - and yesterday morning, I got up, balanced my checkbook, ran to B'ham to get groceries and got back home about fifteen minutes before Dayton came to spend the afternoon and evening. 
I can say it's officially spring now, as I had my first allergy attack late yesterday.  Thank goodness Dave was home from work (it was quarterly inventory day) and Emily was here to help him out with Dayton because I was down and out in the bedroom with my cold flax bag!  My allergy attacks aren't the normal stuffy nose watery eye thing - - it does something that makes it feel like I've got an S.O.S. pad stuck underneath my eyelid.  I can't really open or close my eye for relief - - the only thing that helps is a flax bag I keep in the freezer (I guess the cold reduces whatever is swollen) and a dose of Benedryl, which, of course, knocks me out.
What else has been happening? 
We finally decided on curtains and curtain hanging equipment - we went to the lumber yard and bought large dowels and stained them. We saved about $60.00 by doing that and now, after several months, we have curtains in the living room again!

Next step is to decide what we're going to do about pictures on the walls and Dave has a new computer desk/wall storage thing to build that will go across the opposite end of the living room from the unit he built last summer - - we're just waiting for a weather report with a string of nice days in order to complete that!
I planted some sweet peas to grow up the trellis on the south side of the house.....it's a trellis Dave had built a few years ago that ended up under the house - - we found it last summer and I had him put it up (he'd nearly forgotten he had it).  It's amazing with all this rain we've had how many weeds and dandelions have taken hold in the flower beds.  I knew they were there, but until I really got in, I didn't realize how many there were!
I've been looking at magazines and online to get some ideas on what groups of plants appeal to me to plant in my pots this summer and in the big "feeder trough" style flower box that Dave built last spring.  I can't wait to put my new potting bench (yes, you already know - Dave built it) to use!
So, now the big news, I had weighed myself around March 1st and was really discouraged.  I don't like to measure portions, I don't like to count calories but I knew I had to so something different.  I hemmed and hawed on how I wanted to go about doing something, and finally decided, ON Ash Wednesday, that I'd give up grain for lent.  (once again, if you're a followers of this blog, you're aware of this).  So, my 2nd "weigh in" on April 1st and just over three weeks into this, I have lost 9 lbs!  I was so excited!  It's really given me incentive to continue on after lent is over.  I feel better, I know I'm eating better, and for those wondering, YES, I plant to eat cake at Shane and Megan's wedding!