According to the Farmer's Almanac, spring will be arriving today at 4:21 p.m. Pacific time! With this, I thought I'd take stock of where I'm at in the process of renewal for myself!
First of all, I have to say, since we've been keeping Dayton so much the last couple of months (and trust me, I wouldn't have it any other way), I can see where I lost myself. While you still live your life, there are certain things that just get put on hold.....and I'm also reminded of why it's so important for moms & dads to make sure that when they have little ones, they make time for themselves as a couple. It's so easy to get engrossed in the beautiful world of diapers and Diego and making sure the right seal gets put into the right lid of the sippy cup (trust me - this is important!) - - it's easy neglect stopping to look into the eyes of the one you love and say "How're ya doin'?"
So - back to finding me - -
1) I've given myself permission to do nice things for myself. My children are capable and self reliant adults - yes, Tommy is still a senior in high school, but he's got his own job, his own apt, and is very very cheap - - therefore, I don't need to interfer. It's okay to get a good haircut and color, to buy a food processor for the kitchen, and to even turn the ringer off on the phone every once in awhile.
2) I've started reading again. Years ago, I read all the time, I started again, I've sort of cut back since we've had Dayton (my evening reading has become time loving the little man) - but besides looking through Better Homes & Gardens or a new gardening magazine, I still try to get in a few chapters of Joyce Meyer or Mother Angelica every week. They keep me focused on what is truly important.
3) I'm planning a small vegetable garden this summer for the first time in several years. Tomatoes, peppers, carrots -- Dave is going to put together raised beds for me - - love that man! Also thinking that the big planter he put built last summer will make a great place for an herb garden.
4) I'm getting back into what I love to do and that's decorate. Admittedly, I'm taking baby steps, but I'm having fun putting together new 'scapes' for the shelves on the unit Dave built last summer. Can't wait for the next unit to be built so that I'll have more shelves to decorate!
5) I'm not walking as much as I was in the beginning of the year - - Dayton thinks the treadmill should be as much for him as it Dave and I and that's just not working out for any of us. So - I walk when I can. Not doing as well there as I'd hoped - - but I know that some is better than none.
6) The new thing I've learned in the last week and a half is that eating grain free isn't as tough as I thought it would be. It's forced me to think more about food and to be more creative with food and I have to say, I've found some excellent Paleo recipes! Indian Butter Chicken, Stuffed Cabbage Rolls, Coconut Curry Chicken Salad, I've learned to make "cauliflour rice" and "zuchini noodles", and that Almond Milk is delicious in a protien shake!
7) And most important - I'm learning to forgive myself for my past mistakes and not to dwell on where I messed up.
Joyce Meyer Ministries posting on today's Facebook says "Your future has no room for your past. How much time do you waste feeling guilty?"
I know God's forgives me - - and I know I have forgive myself as well - that's part of the goodness of God and if I don't embrace that, the enemy wins and I don't want to take part in his victories.
Happy Spring Everyone!
I want to lose weight. For my blood pressure - for my knees - so that shopping for clothes won't be such an ordeal - so I can wear my favorite dress to Shane and Megan's wedding.
I don't want to journal my food - I get bored with counting calories and measuring everything. So, for lent, I have decided to give up grains - foods made from wheat, corn, rice, oatmeal, even quinoa........ I know, it sounds a little extreme, but just a few days into this, I can honestly say I feel much better, less sluggish, and so far, haven't really had any "comfort food carb" cravings. I haven't had any heartburn, and I haven't had any bloated feelings..........it seems to be turning into a good thing for me.
I can't say I'm going "Paleo" because I don't have enough info about that to really say that's what I'm doing, but I have friends who have been diligent with the Paleo diet and have nothing but great things to say about it.
I was a little nervous, because I don't want this to be a big production or make things difficult for those around me thinking they have to cater to my food choices. For instance, last night, Nicole and Dayton came over so Nicole could do some online homework and it was decided it'd be a perfect night to have pizza delivered. One of the pizzas was a veggie pizza (no meat - Friday lent) so I just pulled the toppings off, ate them, and didn't eat the crust. Not even the edge!
The book which has been recommended to me by Jeff and Danniel, friends from work, is by Robb Wolf - "The Paleo Solution". They tell me it has a lot of excellent information, but basically, I'm eating lean meat, seafood, eggs, nuts, fruit, & vegetables. Because I haven't read the book yet, I'm not sure where dairy fits into this, but I take calcuim supplements (Membrell Bone Health - recommended by the nutritional educator from work) as I realize milk alone really doesn't do anything for my bone loss - - and I WON'T take Bonvia due to the fact there have been so many class action lawsuits against the company because it ate people's jawbones away......just doesn't seem like a risk worth taking. I would honestly rather go hungry than to eat yogurt (which is mostly sugar anyway), and most of the cheese I eat is associated with a carb, so if there are no carbs, I'll be cutting back on cheese anyway.
Dave and I ate a 1 lb package of roasted carrots (all cut to the same size, lightly tossed in olive oil with a touch of sea salt, and half an hour in a really hot oven - thank you very much Ina Garten!) with our crock pot roast the other night. And my new favorite snack is celery with Justin's brand almond butter!
And for those who might be wondering - until they're gone, I WILL be eating one or two of those delightful chocolates every day that I got from Emily !
I know I feel better already - this is currently a commitment for the lenten season - - however, by the end of lent, I'm curious to find out how well this works for, well, for lack of a better phrase, real life.
I'm just starting to get back to life after the flu.
I got over the worst of it - - just haven't had any energy.
And, lately, I have to say, that with that lack of energy has also come a very "bleh" outlook in general.
And on top of the no energy, Dave has had to work a lot of overtime, we didn't have Dayton for four days in a row, so I've also not had any routine. I know I try to work on being flexible, but without routine, I tend to shut down. I wander around my own house like I'm driving in downtown Bellingham.
In other words - lost.
And everything I've done the last few days, whether at work or at home has gone wrong, was the wrong thing to begin with or broke.
bleh! Ever get in one of those jags?
I kept telling myself "you're a child of God and that's all that matters" "you're a child of God and that's all that matters".
uff!
Anyway - - to end this drama, I came home from work today and there was a package waiting for me.
I didn't order anything.....it's not my birthday? Why is this here and what is it? So, like any normal red blooded woman, I tore it open!
A box of chocolates. Christopher Elbow Chocolates. They aren't just chocolates. They're divine chocolates. They might be chocolates from heaven. In a box tied up with a chocolate colored ribbon!
They were from Emily and there was the sweetest note about how she wanted to show her appreciation for me being her mommy.
Made me cry.
Got my mojo back.
And I'm REALLY glad I didn't give up candy for lent!
I've been fighting a cold for a week. It started last weekend and at that time, I slept alot, I babied myself, and Dave spoiled me. I thought I was over it and carried on throughout the work week, pretending that the congestion and sneezing and coughing were just leftovers of what I'd experienced on the weekend, but, this morning, I conceded and admitted defeat. I called in sick.
So now I'm home. Alone. All day. By myself. It's been a very long time since this has happened. I had to drink two or three cups of coffee to get things opened up in order to breathe fairly normally, drank a daytime theraflu, and after all that, laying around was just no longer possible. I decided to clean out the closet which is directly across the hall from the bathroom, which is why we call it "the bathroom closet".
Let me back up and say that one of my gifts (some who have lived with me or work with me might call it a curse) is that I have an analytic mind which is capable of extreme micro-organization - to the point some think I should perhaps consider a twelve-step program.
I know not everyone has this issue and one of the things I learned when the kids were in the house was that if I didn't 'let that go', I'd be one nasty cranky mama who was always harping at her teenagers. Just because I like to have the linen dish towels in one stack and the terry dish towels in another stack and I prefer those two stacks are separate from the older and more worn dish towels which are reserved to dry the pots and pans with until they've worn to the point they're ready for the rag bin, doesn't mean that everyone has to live the same way.
Anyway, I sorted and and tossed and organized and once the 'bathroom closet' was in order, I decided I'd just go ahead and go through the linen closet at the end of the hall. From there, it seemed a natural progression to take everything out of the TV unit that Dave built last summer and wipe everything down, then, to the computer desk and well............you get the idea.
I'm home today to take care of myself, but I have to say, I'm feeling better for having taken time to give a bit of attention to our home. Doing so makes me feel more connected to the space. When I've organized it and cleaned it and even when I'm decorating with something as simple as flowers from the grocery store, there becomes a purpose for this space and that purpose, in the end, is peace which results in a richer life.
And now that I've created some peace through organization, I've still got a stuffed up head. I believe it's time for another theraflu, an episode of Barefoot Contessa, and I'm sure a nap wouldn't hurt anything either.
I'm watching the news from Seattle right now, their main stories revolving around the snow that has fallen over most of Western Washington and how it's affecting the metro area - - I'm trying to tell myself I should be thankful that we didn't get any of it and have to deal with the bad roads and slippery sidewalks that they're contending with, but in all honesty, I'm really really really disappointed we didn't get any snow. Not just with this storm, but basically, all winter long. We had a pretty snow on Thanksgiving and that was it.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE living in Whatcom County. It's a beautiful place to live - if we feel like a day hike in the mountains, it's 45 minutes to an hour to get up to Mt. Baker. If we want the water, the sound is 10 to 15 minutes away and then we're paddling our kayaks off Gooseberry Point or Semihamoo. We live in a nice sized town (Ferndale) close to a small city (Bellingham), and Seattle is only an hour and half to two hours away - in the event we feel the need for some "metropolitan enlightenment."
But I have to say, the last couple of years, I've really been 'homesick', so to speak, for real - actual - seasons. 4 of them. Not the rainy season (which I love) and the not so rainy season of July and August (when I miss the rain) - but an actual spring, summer, autumn, and winter!
I'm hoping, more than anything, when I go back to Iowa the end of June for Shane and Megan's wedding, I get to experience a good window rattling thunderstorm and maybe even see a tornado skipping across the prairie - of course, away from all people, animals, and buildings! Okay, maybe that's not a good thing to hope to see, but I still want the thunderstorm.
However, I HAVE gotten acclimated to this region. It' a hot day if it's above 70 or 75. And the flowers here are just gorgeous because it doesn't get so hot that the colors fade and the plants get that tired look. May be a bit more of a challenge to grow really good tomatoes, but it CAN be done!
So, don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not sad that I live here. In fact, this is the first place I've ever lived where I didn't think there was some place better to be!
But yes, at the end of THIS day (not every day) but today, I really wish we had a little bit of snow.
Then, I'll be ready for spring!
Dave is a "Mr. Fly by the Seat of your Pants" kind of guy.
He thinks planning and analyzing a situation to death are maddening. He thinks if something needs done, you just get up and do it. I know that's not bad, but that way of functioning is just plain scary to me. It can make me nauseous. Literally. Not joking.
According to practically every personality test I take, some for fun like the silly color profile in Better Homes and Gardens, some through work, like the DISC profile, and others just out of curiosity, like Meyer's Briggs, each one tells me that I am a routine oriented person. I take comfort in having a plan. And this is true.
I like to know what I'm going to have for dinner before I leave for work in the morning. I am nervous to go to the grocery store without a list. I am uncomfortable making a list without a menu. And I can't make a menu without knowing what's coming up on the calendar.
When I plan a vacation, such as the trip Dave and I took last spring, I research the areas we're going to be traveling through -- I take note of what's where and what it has to offer and does it fit into the schedule? I don't want to waste a moment of precious vacation time willy nillying around trying to decide what we want to do.
Right now, we're looking at curtains for the living room. I've spent hours comparing different colors, patterns, fabrics, styles - - all for the distinct intent of not going to the store and getting something just to have something to hang in front of the window because there's nothing there yet (expect plain blinds - we're not total exhibitionists).
Anyway, my point here is that I realize I need to learn to be a bit more flexible and while I'm totally convinced that my way of functioning is safe and responsible and probably right (hehe) - - it's not the only way.
This last week has been a testament to this. It started about 10 days ago when we kept Dayton after work on a Thursday. He wasn't feeling good. The next morning, Nicole wasn't able to leave him at daycare when she went to work because he had a fever - I had told her if he was sick to call me at work and I would be able to come home and keep him, and that's exactly what happened.
We also had him on Saturday, and again on Sunday from 6:30 in the morning until 9:40 that night. Monday - she had the day off, but Tommy and his friend came by with 4 loads of laundry and YES, I was ecstatic to see him! We watched Dayton on Tuesday, and we watched him Wednesday. Wednesday night, Emily and her boyfriend Casey stopped by to see Dayton, so Dave and I took advantage of their visit and washed AND dried AND put away the dishes! Thursday things were a bit different when Nicole worked at her 2nd part time job that lasts until 6:30. Dave stayed home and worked on a new garden bench he decided to build around the fire pit (no, not much planning involved - it's done and it looks great) while I went to Dave's sister Sandy's. Nicole was taking Dayton there because Sandy had her two granddaughters (Dayton's 2nd cousins) who are a little older and a little younger than Dayton, so they could all play together.
The point - - there was absolutely NO ROUTINE or anything planned out, except the play date with the girls, the entire week. Other than coming down with a cold, I survived. And it was fun.
I DID NOT, however, walk on the treadmill one single time. I wasn't able to wake up early enough to listen to more than about 5 minutes of any Joyce Meyer program that records every weekday - - my eating habits were atrocious - - mostly what I ate was Gerber snack food and frozen stuff from Schwann's. Thank God for a few fresh fruits and veggies. I didn't maintain my sleep routine and was in a walking coma for the greater part of the week.
And, I didn't make time to sit down and enter anything onto this blog since last Saturday!
However, those are just facts. In reality, Dave and I created so many fun memories this past week with Dayton. We feel good about giving Nicole the confidence she can depend on us, and yes, we ARE getting a schedule from her, now that she is going to school and working two part time jobs so that we CAN make a plan and put together a routine which is not only good for us, but good for Dayton as well. We love spending time with the little man and while I don't like to pass judgment, in general, yes, we ARE a better choice to keep him than anyone else.
I love being Nana - - and in being Nana, we have to form a happy marriage of routine and "flying by the seat of your pants"!
Been a little busy this week - - all good - - Dave and I have had Dayton quite a bit. Nicole has started a part time job as a server at a retirement center, along with her part time job at Sear's and going to school. The girl's got her plate full and I'm glad we can help her out.
He stayed with us a couple of days during the week. Then, Friday morning I came home (how sad is this, I left around 8:30 and had still put in a little over two hours....) to watch Dayton since he had a fever (can't go to daycare with a fever). Silly me - - I'd thought, "Oh! An extra day at home. I can get a jump start on the weekend laundry and I can get some menus and grocery lists made up and..........." Needless to say, not much of that happened. Menu's and grocery lists - - not a chance. I did get some laundry done and ended up washing our sheets as well due to an unfortunate diaper incident. It was kind of funny later on while the bedding was in the laundry - - Dayton likes to lay in our bed and watch Winnie the Pooh. He decided it was Pooh time and there was nothing on the bed except the mattress. "Fits it nana, fits it" in his most pitiful begging voice ever.
And, not feeling well, his poor little voice was kind of pitiful yesterday.....he's usually easy going and if something doesn't go quite right, he'll move on to something else. But yesterday, it was just one meltdown after another. So, about ten/ten thirty in the morning, I logged into Pandora and found the Mandisa station, which also played a lot of relaxing music by Chris Tomlin, Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, and so on. I bundled him up in a blankie and we rocked and he cried. He cried for about 20 minutes and then he stopped, looked up at me and fell asleep and slept about two hours. I continued to rock him while he slept and except for the fact he was sick, it was wonderful to have that time with him.
When Dayton & I first walked in yesterday morning, he walked around the house and looked in every room and finally said "Nana, I tant fine my papa." So he was pretty happy when Papa walked in around 1:00, he'd had a nap, was feeling better - - and papa was home!
I have to say though, by the end of the day - I was exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. It was only 6:30, but I went straight from Nana mode to jammie time - I picked up my book and Dave brought me supper in bed - grilled cheese and tomato soup. Love that man!
Since we'll have him today and all day tomorrow (7 in the morning until 8:30 at night), we ran into Bellingham early to stock up on a few toddler items and were home before ten, vacuumed up a canister full of graham cracker crumbs and Annie's Cheddar Bunnies that had been ground into the carpet and we're ready to go again!
